Everyone knows about killer bees, at least, they think they know about them.
The media never fails in its perpetual mission of doom, gloom, and fear to
keep us informed as to what's happening, or what might happen in the
near future. Don't forget about the worst case scenario; you should
certainly worry about that.
Killer bees from South America are a good example of
things we all should fear. I've been hearing reports for years that
killer bees are migrating and it won't be long before we'll find them north
of the border - horror of horrors. I have been listening to reports on
South American killer bees since I was a child. Now I'm fifty-eight
years old and I'm still waiting for the killer bees to arrive. Maybe
they are stealth bees and have cloaking devices that prevent me from seeing
them. Maybe they are actually among us right now. It doesn't
matter what the media says, South American killer bees are at the bottom of
my worry list.
I'll bet you haven't heard of the fleshing eating bees of Turkey. They
are absolutely the worst flesh eating bees on the planet, and what's more,
they are relentless. They show no mercy and won't go away until the
only thing left is bare bones. I've seen these guys in action.
Once they start their feeding frenzy, there is nothing you can do to
dissuade them. These flying piranhas keep eating until there's no
flesh left.
The flesh eating bees showed up during a barbie in the cockpit of Exit Only.
We had chicken and Duetto had barbecued lamb chops. Within minutes of
bringing the lamb chops on board, the flesh eating bees made their invasion.
They flew everywhere, crawling over everything. Since we didn't know
about Turkish flesh eating bees, we didn't understand what was happening.
We tried to ignore the invaders that were turning Exit Only into their
personal apiary. It didn't work. They called all their friends
to join them and soon the situation was BEEcoming unBEElievable.
Swatting didn't discourage them; they completely ignored our flyswatters.
Thankfully, they didn't sting anyone. The bees simply ignored us and
went about their business. They wanted only one thing - FLESH, FLESH,
AND MORE FLESH. These single-minded carnivores rejected our fried
chicken and only wanted Duetto's lamb chops. When we figured out the
flesh eaters were hooked on lamb, we simply stripped most of the meat off
the bones and set the scraps to one side. The bees quickly congregated
on the lamb chop bones for a feeding frenzy, devouring every molecule of
meat right down to the bone.
I was glad that I was not a lamb chop or I would have been history.
Those flesh eaters would have stripped me clean.
I hope a major wire service - Associated Press or CNN - picks up on this
story. After all, flesh eating bees could mutate and migrate. If
they mutate to where they prefer human flesh, we're all in trouble.
And if they migrate to North America where we have no defenses against flesh
eating bees, catastrophe could happen. Homeland Security needs to know
about these bees.
If there is just some way we could genetically engineer the flesh eating
bees to develop a taste for killer bees, planet earth could be
saved from South American killer bees. That sounds like a plan to me.
I've added flesh eating bees to my worry list. Flesh eating bees and
killer bees are now vying for last and lowest position on my personal worry
list. I'm not sure which ones I should fear most. When I get it
figured out, I will let you know.
In spite of the killer bees and flesh eating bees, life
is good.
